Back to Walter Reed for more tests, doctors' appointments
First stop: Plastic Surgery to get a "refill" on my right side
Next, Nuclear Medicine for a MUGA scan of my heart
Afterwards, downstairs to Radiology for my CT
Drank the water bottle full of contrast
An hour-long wait, occupied with a visit to the oncologist
Chemo talk - traditional, trials, side effects, second opinion
I'm sitting across the desk thinking: I'll do whatever works. I don't want to do this again.
Final stop: CT Scan of my chest, abdomen and pelvis
Contrast is injected
Why am I itching?
Allergic reaction
Benadryl STAT!
More delays, just in case....
There is no case; nothing happens
It's dark out now, as I wait for Jeff to pull the car around.
I'm sitting in the lobby when my I-Phone plays "The Mannish Boy Song."
It's her.
Her voice is uncharacteristically flat.
She takes a deep breath.
"It's more of the same," she says as she releases the air.
I'm silent, numb.
This wasn't supposed to happen again.
It was supposed to have worked.
God said I think I will build me a world. Put in that world people who love and trust me. People who are strong, resilient, kind, compassionate, good hearted, loving and kind. God knew that you would be one of his and that you would have the courage, fortitude and sheer "guts" to handle it. Be encouraged and know that God has got your back!!!
ReplyDeleteDo not lose faith - you can fight this. You are strong - you are a Texan - you are DENEITRA - and your family needs you. Just keep making the best choices you can, one at a time. We love you.
ReplyDeleteDeneitra, your blog takes my breath away. Cancer is such a miserable disease- my mother fought it, my father fought it and finally my daughter. I think if anyone has a chance of beating those bastard cells into the ground it must be you. Your strength, your humor and your faith in Jesus will carry you and your precious family through this. I am going to pass your blog along to some of my prayer warriors- it always helps to have a team of cheerleaders petitioning the Lord in your behalf. We will keep you and your family in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteLove,
holly and family
Deneitra,
ReplyDeleteI already sent you an email. Cancer is a mean person you don't want to befriend. Some of us get forced into knowing it all to well, and we fight and become advocates! I love your approach to beating this mean disease. You remind me of my mother when I was Christopher's age. In some ways I did not understand, and in some ways I did. She is my hero, and you have gotten to know her by proxy! I guess you now know why she is my hero. Cancer is not for the sheepish or the weak. It takes strength.
I know that melanoma has made me an outspoken advocate for other people with it. I learned from my both my parents. That is why I do walks to raise money for research, and awareness education. I know you are already doing the same. Thanks for convincing me to get my family tested for the BRCA gene. Whatever the outcome, it will be a relief!
I have learned from you, not to fight this cancer alone ever again! Thank you. You are a wonderful example, and a wonderful human being just like all of your family. I, too, have passed your blog along, but have not told our fellow alumni. I did not know if you wanted me to. If you do, then tell me. My mother and I, are praying for you as is my Congregation. I will never understand why G-d tests certain ones of us.
Love and Mi' Shebeirach,
Ginger