It's like riding a rollercoaster, but you didn't want the ticket.
I don't like rollercoasters. All that motion makes me sick to my stomach.
Some people are adrenalin junkies who like the thrill of the ride.
Not me. I like rides like the swings that fly through the air.
You know where they are going.
You know what happens next.
But this isn't the swings; this is cancer.
What I thought would happen next is that I would start chemo.
What I thought would happen next is that I would have my hair cut very short
and buy a wig...just in case.
What I thought would happen next is that I would have my breast rebuilt.
You know, "We can rebuild you. We can make you better."
Yesterday I found out what would happen next.
I will have to endure a second surgery to extract more lymph nodes.
The ones previously extracted were cancerous.
Today I found out I will also need radiation.
Today I found out I have the Breast Cancer Gene.
Today and over the next few days, I will consider whether to have my right breast removed as well.
Today the rollercoaster ride begins.
I wish I were flying on the swings.
Deneitra, Oh my, what a ride you have been on! I am so sorry to hear that you are having to go through this. You are in our prayers, each and every day. I know the days are tough, but I know you are tougher! You are a real trooper! I pray the Lord will be your strength and comfort every moment of the day. We love you bunches.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, what is your address?
You are surrounded by some of the finest medical institutions in the United States, on the cutting edge of breast cancer research. You have THE BEST medical insurance in the country - others would call it "socialized medicine" but without the rationing. This may not be a fun ride, but it's one you have the resources to survive, and friends and family to support you - call on us as needed. We love you!
ReplyDeleteI wish I were on the swings ride with you just relaxing and feeling the wind in our face. I am feeling so helpless and so far away just know that I am on this "ride" with you. I know my prayers are being heard. I will visit when you say the time is right. I can make meals- just like before!! I still wish I were right next door!!
ReplyDeleteDee, I am so sorry you have to have more surgery. More lymph nodes taken out and then to have to make the decision on the right breast too. My heart goes out to you. I am praying for you many times a day and sending you lots of love too. I agree with the comments above about you being in the hands of the best medical care in the U.S. OK, well the 1st doctor you described in your Zappos episode was a turd, but you replaced him. You are strong, you can do this, you can do this.
ReplyDeleteI cried when I read this. Sorry I am a cream puff. The thing however about swings and rollercoasters is that they can take you high in the air where it can bright, sunny and clear or cloudy, overcast and rainy. Either way its where God dwells. His love, grace and mercy will get you through this and I will be there for you as well. Love Sonja B
ReplyDeletePraying for you!
ReplyDelete