The Good, The Bad & The Padding

In less than 24 hours, I will be back on the operating table
where the surgeons will perform an axillary lymph node dissection
(fancy name for removing lymph nodes underneath the pectoral muscle in the arm)
and to mastectomize (is that a "Don King" word?) my good breast.

I want to keep and remove my good breast, at the same time.
There is no cancer there.
The left one was the bad one.
And it's already been mastectomized.

As I prepared for the taping of Columbia Matters (probably my last one with my own hair), my mind raced through the usual details (hair and make-up, script, jewelry and wardrobe). I did the mirror check before heading out and noticed
my right breast,
my good breast,
hanging a little lower, looking a little sadder, (okay a lot sadder)
than my left breast,
my bad breast.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? MY BAD BREAST HAD BECOME MY GOOD BREAST???
I HAVE TO PAD MY GOOD BREAST TO LOOK AS GOOD AS MY BAD BREAST?
(Not only that, I have to keep looking down in-between taping to make sure that padding isn't climbing up my neck or sliding down my stomach.)


Now, that's just not right...and neither is cancer.