I received an unexpected email today
from someone I met just days before being diagnosed with breast cancer.
It wasn't so much that I didn't expect to hear from her.
It was more in the words she expressed.
In an email she revealed that her mother had succumb to the disease 20 years earlier.
Unlike me, she never bore witness to her feelings during chemotherapy and radiation,
...at least not to her daughter.
Myself a mother: I expect that it wasn't that she didn't want to share,
she simply did not want to burden.
I imagine that she felt worried and guilty and fragile.
I imagine that she only wanted to be MOM.
Words convey a power:
behind them, in front of them,
revealed and otherwise unspoken.
They never fade completely away because they abound,
waiting for someone to come along,
give them voice
and speak.
Thank you, for connecting a part of your Mom with me.
Dear Deneitra,
ReplyDeleteI am glad you are back on your blog. That must mean you made it through the "Lonely Hours" OK. I hope it was not too bad. I know that must sound like a stupid thing to say. But it is the only thing I can say. I pray for you often, and you are in my prayers every day. You are beautiful, Deneitra. Even as a Cyborg.
Thank you Judy. I will try to make it through this experience with my faith and sense of humor in tact. Just one more treatment of this AC and hopefully my new cocktail will be much easier on me. I love you, Lady.
ReplyDeleteHey, no-wanna-be-a-cyborg...
ReplyDeleteI was waiting to see your words, and as always, I am speechless when I do. You write so beautifully, so honestly, so transparantly with a quiet sassy sarcasm. Toe hairs? Ahh! Welcome to the sisterhood! :-)
I am just happy you have the resillience to make it to getting to your writing. I just have one request... and I know u will say, "You got your nerve!" Can you please change the name of this blog, "Losing A Lifelong Friend"? I know, I know... I understand what you meant... but everytime i see it here on the blog (and from the first time I saw it forwarded to me by H.E. when it scared the h*** outta me... it just makes me think we might lose you... and I don't even want to have a trace of that thought enter my mind. Am I a coward? Perhaps. But I too believe in the power of words... so can we please change that????? To something with word power more life affirming? Cuss me out if you want to. Tell me why not, if you want to. Make me understand...