Yet, here I sit,
on a hard, canary yellow chair,
waiting for my comforter to wash.
In case you're like me and need a refresher course:
1. Arrive Early. And by early, I mean NLT 9:30 a.m. At this time of morning, only half the dryers are in rotation, and you might be able to score an over-sized washer, which is why you're here anyway.
2. Dress for success. Sweats work, even when disguised as a Pasha yoga hoodie and matching pants. If you're bald, a black knit cap keeps them guessing. Customers will barely notice until...
3. someone spots you carrying a handbag. Downsize instead to the necessities - quarter and/or bills, detergent and of course, your dirty comforter. No one totes a purse!
4. Take a roll. You couldn't make a phone call with a quarter, if there was a pay-phone nearby. Be prepared to spend about $10 to wash and dry your king-sized comforter.
5. Hovering. It is perfectly acceptable to hover over your machine instead of making a quick run to Trader Joe's. Your street cred will only decrease if you return with heirloom tomatoes.
6. If possible, avoid the washer in the corner, near the front (or back) of the mat, when there is no room to pass between the bank of washers and the wall. In doing so, you will also avoid becoming trapped by the mountains of clothes people are intending to clean. Note: not everyone is there to wash a single piece of bed linen.
7. Learn to speak the language. This would have proven invaluable since I could have asked, "Que lavadora deberia yo usar?" and likely known all about #6.
8. Try not to dismantle the equipment.
9. Dryer Check. Be sure your comforter is completely dry before wheeling it out to your SUV and discovering damp spots. No one likes damp spots, and fellow customers will label you a poser if you suddenly return to the (albeit) partially dismantled dryer.
10. Even if you don't need to wash your comforter or anything else, the laundromat is a great place to make change.Who knew?
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