Membership on Hold

Today was the big day.
I was finally going to the gym,
to put a HOLD on my membership.
I have two gym memberships and neither has been used since I was diagnosed with breast cancer last October.


For months, I had postponed freezing my account.
I thought it was because I didn't want to run into people I knew;
at first maybe it was.
I later convinced myself that I looked too much like the FACE of CANCER.
It would be awkward for them and embarrassing for me.


Of course I over thought it.

I drove to the fitness club, filled-out the paperwork and left.
Shutting the car door, I pinpointed the source of my anxiety.


Placing a hold on my gym membership was like
admitting that I was too weak and too sick to work out.
The real reason I'd procrastinated for so long was that I was afraid of feeling defeated.


And I did feel that way,


...for about sixty seconds;
...long enough for me to calculate the savings;
...and get over it!