Don't Tell/Do Tell

I am writing after a long hiatus, in-part because I realize that I still have something left to say.
In my moments of doubt,
I almost lost my voice.
I wasn't sure that anyone was still listening.

Today, two women persuaded me otherwise.

The first, and we'll call her "D," is a three-year breast cancer survivor.
This morning was my first time meeting "D", but it won't be my last.
In between sips of coffee and bites of jam on bread,
she wrestled with the fact that she'd struggled with telling people that she had breast cancer. That was three years ago. Yet even today, she questions her decision to keep her decision on a need-to-know basis.

For a survivor, telling someone, can be almost as difficult as confiding the truth about your diagnosis. "D" admitted to sharing her breast cancer story with a stranger during a three hour flight, while lacking the words to express even the most basic conditions regarding her illness to those around her. Think about it, how DO you tell someone?
"How are you doing? Me? Oh, I just found out I have breast cancer."
It isn't an easy conversation starter.

It was then that I offered a simple explanation for creating my blog. I needed a way to tell people. My words in cyber-space were birthed from the realization that informing people of my diagnosis would not be easy, for them or for me. A blog kept me from re-telling my story.
I was willing to lay my soul bare, if anyone was willing to read it. Sure enough, within ten minutes of posting my initial blog and subsequently posting it on Facebook, my phone rang. It was Claire. "You must have read my blog," was how I answered the phone.
Thus the conversation was launched.

Was "D's" decision the right one?
Although it was different from my own, I assured her, it was.
We all want to survive. We all make the best choices that we can with that goal in mind. People handle life's issues based on life's experiences.
Nobody owns the sole rights to right decisions.
For some women, saying the words breast cancer can mean looking at the ugly disease, over and over again. For others, putting it out there, frees one from the stress of carrying it inside and alone.

Perhaps that's why I've been a little overwhelmed by life lately.
Maybe I should have kept blogging all along, instead of suffering in silence.
Well the silence has ended,
and I've got lots to say.